A Transylvanian midnight brings!
He told himself vampires and spooks
Were legends only found in books,
But when he peeped out from his bed
He saw a figure clothed in red
Who had a very pale complexion
And in the mirror - no reflection,
But the greatest of surprises
Was the size of his incisors.
In all his years of dental care
Douglas had never seen a pair
Of human teeth so long and vicious
And though he was not superstitious,
His senses forced him to conclude
That this was Dracula out for blood
He was scared stiff - though fascinated
To see the myth substantiated.
Dracula gave a fearful roar
And opened wide his deadly roar
Douglas thought he understood -
Dracula had toothache!  So he should
Honouring his Hippocratic oath,
Without delay extract them both.
(He also had another aim -
Such specimens would bring him fame!)
He quickly gave the anaesthetic,
Poor Dracula - he looked pathetic,
Sleeping while he lost his choppers,
But Douglas smiled to win such whoppers!
Now Dracula is gone for good -
But sadly, Douglas, who should be
Famous for his victory
And wealthy for his exhibition
Of Count Dracula's dentition,
Hears only disbelievers cark -
They say the teeth came from a shark!